If youre over the age of 20 and lost all your teen years to mental illness and never got to be normal, or have healthy relationships, went down the wrong path or diddnt have the right nurturing support from BOTH your parents and now you have to sort of catch up on your life whether thats getting your license, getting your GED, starting college, fixing your mental health, or starting things you told yourself to start or try again and again no matter what it is, and trying to fight to live and accomplish shit you FEEL you should have accomplished as a teenager but diddnt have the capacity or insight to care about due to mental illness.
I am so incredibly sorry, and im thankful youre here and alive and trying!!! also;
You are N O T a failure you took your time because you couldnt put more on yourself than you could bear to carry and that is a mark of self care so dont ever feel bad about it
I am so fucking proud of you, youre trying your hardest to get to the top even though it may be harder now, you could have given up but you havent and for that you are victorious and i am in awe of you.
What to tell children when they ask why your hair is…
Red: You are from the fire kingdom here on the king’s order (example: The king told you to get some milk or something)
Orange: It turned into a beautiful orange that attracts fairies because you ate oranges and carrots (help out the parents a bit)
*Bonus for Orange: If it’s near Halloween, you’re are the Pumpkin Ruler. You’re here to give the soon-to-be Jack-O’-Lanterns a speech and get them hyped for Halloween.
Yellow: You are actually a doll made by Rumpelstiltskin himself that was brought to life and your hair is of gold thread
Green: You were born inside a flower, your hair became green cause of the food that the plat makes for itself that also turns leaves green. You’re here cause you want humans to take care of your people and home.
*Bonus forGreen: If it’s Christmas, tell them you’re an elf Christmas shopping for Santa. You and elves sometimes cheat and buy toys instead of building them. Tell them to keep it a secret.
Blue: You’re a mermaid/merman/merperson. Tell them to keep trash out of the oceans.
Purple: You’re a wizard and your hair is the source of your magic.
Pink: Your hair was blessed by the love in the world. If there is no love in the world, your hair will go dark and fall out.
White: You are from the skies where they hand make snowflakes, you’re here to keep an eye on Jack Frost
Multi-Colored: Your hair has its own personality and can’t seem to choose which color it wants to be, so it chose all
Sure, relationships typically start with a honeymoon phase that then grows into something deeper but a bit more mellow if things work out, but it’s depressing as fuck that this has turned into a really, really common script for straight relationships that says it’s totally normal and inevitable for dudes to just become more and more emotionally checked out of the relationship, and leave it to their girlfriend/wife to perform if she wants to get even a crumb of affection from him. I’m so fucking tired of seeing women constantly being taught that decades of emotional neglect is just our lot in life.
what “getting out of the honeymoon phase” should mean: you aren’t joined at the hip anymore and can spend time apart, but you still greatly enjoy eachother’s company and deliberately make time to be together. you’re not just a unit, you’re a matched set (like, you’re susan and bob rather than susanandbob). you start to see eachother’s flaws and don’t put eachother on a pedestal but instead love eachother as human beings, flaws and all.
what it should NOT mean: you barely talk anymore. you feel like two completely different people, tied together by a frayed thread. you’re annoyed by eachother’s flaws and don’t like to be around eachother
similarly: “relationships are hard, they take a lot of work” means that cooperation on a daily basis in both the practical and emotional realms takes conscious effort. you can’t coast on those honeymoon feelings forever, and you aren’t psychic, so you have to pay attention and communicate so you can honor each other’s wants and needs.
it should not mean that you’re fighting every two days or walking on eggshells to avoid the anger of an unreasonable partner or breaking your back trying to get the slightest sign of affection or respect from someone who’s checked out and doesn’t care about you.
